I Always Wake Up Grumpy (Especially During Surgery)

100 people a day wake up during surgery, paralyzed and unable to call out for help, according to a new study. The chairman of anesthesia and critical care medicine at the University of Chicago issues a pointed harrumph at the research, which was sponsored by makers of a system that monitors levels of operative sedation: "These studies have not been vetted through the peer-reviewed process," says Dr. Jeffrey Apfelbaum. "We are all anxious to find a way to minimize the incidence of this problem, but we need to do it through sound science." Ummm... Hey, doc? You know what I need to do? Not wake up during surgery with a freakin' tube down my throat. And with all due respect, you know what you need to do? Make sure I don't wake up during surgery with a freakin' tube down my throat. Why don't you make that your first priority -- you know, in your capacity as a professional anesthesiologist and all -- and worry about the niceties of peer review later, mmmkay? Thanks a bunch.